moonwalker

Exercise: walk to gym, 5 min cardio, upper body weight train circuit (I upped the weights by 5-10 lbs, and did 3 sets of 10 instead of 15 because I’m getting sick and my endurance is down), left gym ran/jogged/walked home, changed shoes, went out another 10-15 minutes for a run/walk/jog, came home and stretched. Total time: a little over an hour

Pain: Oh my gosh! My right quad has a piercing pain that’s sticking around after the run and my left ham string had a pain that only bothered me running.

The plan: Keep training slow and steady. I can’t run for long right now. And I probably hurt because I lower body weight trained yesterday, and will again tomorrow with my trainer. Ugh…

And the getting sick thing: allergies are up and I seem to be getting a sinus infection I can feel in my throat.

Motivation: I have a whole drawer of shorts I bought last year and squeezed into. I’m wearing a pair right now that fit horribly last summer. I look decent. I can really tell that my belly is getting smaller. Running and the elliptical skier are helping. Well, so is the diet. I eat a lot less fat than I used to, but I’m still not the model of ideal diet. Anyway, belly fat is the HARDEST to get off, so I’m excited. It’s so good to see results!

Seriously hoping to drop a pound this week. It’s day 2 and I’m kicking butt!

Ha! Monday morning weigh-in at 195.1. I’m down 2 lbs 6 oz from yesterday morning! I made sure to drink tons of water and eat right. I didn’t exercise, I rarely do on Sunday, but I did stay active. I guess that 2+ lbs was water weight, maybe even that big meal I had Friday night. It’s gone and time to move on!

194.1 is my goal for next Monday.

Exercise: walk to and from gym, 15-20 minutes; 5 min cardio warm-up; lower body weight training; 15 min cardio; total time: 1 hr 30 min

June 4 challenge: I want to be in the area of 190 lbs (less is good!) and in a size 14. I bought a whole bunch of size 14 jeans, shorts, and capris about 4 years ago when I was trying to lose weight. I have a whole wardrobe sitting around with price tags on them! I may or may not be going to Florida. Also, the hubby is due to visit the states around that time. I want to show him a new me! 2 sizes down from when he was last here.

Feeling good and ready to go out there and kick some butt!

It feels so good to lose, but sometimes it’s inevitable to slip up. And then, yeah, life goes on. So I’m 2 lbs up and not really in the mood to worry with it. I have other, better things on my mind…

RUNNING!

So, earlier this week I went out and sprinted some. It killed my shins, quads, and right hip. I went out yesterday for a re-try and I don’t really hurt! I tried some new advice like “push off from your toes” and have good shoes, etc. Anyway, it was a ton of fun and a decent hangover cure, believe it. Ha ha! I did have the “power breakfast” before I went- egg whites with 2% cheese and salsa, 2 slices whole wheat toast with sugar-free jelly, and a banana. Yum!

My new plan is to lower body weight train on Mon, run on Wed, and weight train on Fri again if I can. Upper body weight train on Tues and Thurs. The weekends are still free-for-alls. I got out yesterday because my kids where with their grandparents. It’s not always like that.

Anyway, right now, I’m taking it one thing at a time. Run, eat, weights, sleep. Oh yeah, and stop smoking!

I know I should go to the gym, but I feel so physically beat up. My shins and quads still hurt. My pecs are sore. I can’t stand it when my legs are sore because I HAVE to walk on them. Seriously! So I don’t think I’m hitting the gym today.

In my little corner of the world, I have a bazillion things to do. Clean bathrooms, do laundry, vacuum, etc. I sure won’t be sitting still today! Which is good because I won’t get stiff. I’m sure I’ll pop in a video tonight or do some time on the Wii Fit. I’ll just make sure I don’t eat as much as I would if I were working out real hard.

My weight was back down to 195.6 this morning. Whew! All the TOM weight is gone. I would love a loss down to 194 this Monday, which is why I’m all cranky that the weekend is coming and I won’t be going to the gym. Oh well. No sense in over-stressing sore muscles!

Next week is a new week. I have new goals for myself. Thankfully, the diet doesn’t change. I got that one down!

I’m off to clean the house some more! I will fight disappointment in myself by getting to work. I need to quit being such a perfectionist! I’m only stressing myself.

If you read my blog yesterday, you know that I tried to run. And, in my mind, I did. I sprinted a few times while going on a walk and I LOVED it.

Running has already changed things for me. Because I learned that I could do it. 4 years ago when I tried, I hurt my knees. Today it’s my shins, quads, and right hip. This proves to me that I can do it. There are muscles there begging to be tried and tested. I didn’t run with my knees. I’m becoming more fit than ever.

So, for fun, I bought new running shoes. Reebok DMX, white with lime green and electric blue. I’ve been wearing them to break them in before I try to run next week. I was told to look at good socks too. And the Queen of All Control- a sports bra that holds me in, kinda like duct tape.

My brother runs track and cross country and I’ll be picking his brain. My husband runs for PT in the Army and I’ll bug him too [if he calls or e-mails]. Any advice from any one who runs on here is welcome.

I also want to talk to my trainer at the gym. When I mentioned that I tried to run yesterday, he smiled. He’s sure to be a help, when he’s not busy. Ah, poor trainer dude. He’s always busy!

Exercise today: walk to the gym, 8 minutes, cardio warm-up, 5 minutes, upper body weight training, 30 something minutes, fat burn on skier, 10 minutes, walk home, 10 minutes

For about a zillion reasons, most of them pertaining to PMS, I skipped the gym.  Well, I had a guilty conscious because I haven’t exercised since Saturday.  I just haven’t felt good.  I felt even more like crud when I realized I was being a lazy butt today.  I finally put on my shoes, grabbed my cell phone, house keys, and mp3 player, and made it out the front door.  I did some stretches.  Then I had a crazy idea.  So I did some more stretches.

I left the house power walking.  I was in the zone.  I walked to a neighborhood next to mine, where no houses are because the project failed.  It’s just me and an impressive network of sidewalks and lots for sale.  I took a deep breath, and ran a few feet.

Yes, I ran!  For those of you that don’t know me, that’s an “UP YOURS” to this doc that once told me that I shouldn’t exercise. I worked hard to propel all 196.2 lbs of me in something resembling a jog.  But, to me, it was running.

I “sprinted” a total of 5 times.  I took the long way home, enjoying a slow walk with a smile that can’t be matched.  It was me and the glorious sun, bonding for the first time in a while.  Home, stretch, shower and smile.

While I ran, I felt my quads.  A muscle previously underused.  The last time I tried to run, four years ago, my knee cracked and I was down for a few days.  Today I felt new muscles trying to take up the task of something totally unfamiliar.

About 5 years ago I was told that I needed to lose weight.  My knees would give out under the strain of supporting me.   I went to physical therapy and was told my knee cap was twisted.  I had to quit physical therapy when I had to deal with cancer appts.  There was only one car between me and my hubby, and no sitter for our 2 kids.  One thing became priority.   My doc said “lose weight by dieting.  Don’t exercise, except for maybe walking on flat surfaces.”  I lived in LA at the time.  Flat surfaces are not to be found!  So I walked.  I walked, my knees gave out, I fell.  I got scabs.  But I didn’t give up through all the embaressment.  I pressed on.

A few months later, my bro-in-law died resulting in my hubby’s PTSD from deploying spiraling out of control.  I quit.  I gave in.  I gained up to 215.5 lbs.  I put on weight so quickly I looked bloated.  Everyone thought I was pregnant again.

Months after that, I joined Curves.  I cried when I made it under 200.  I made it down to 197, got lazy, and quit bothering with it.  The weight came back.  I injured my rotator cuff and finally quit altogether.

Same thing the next year with Gold’s Gym.   No long-term motivation.

This time has been different.  I WANT to run.  I DREAM about running.  I dream that I take off and keep going.  I want to feel the release.  I want to go for it.  But my body wasn’t ready.  I’ve been weight training since Jan, but most steadily since mid-Feb.  Today I felt ready.  I knew in my head that I could do this.  It’s time to go back a few years.  It’s time to live like a 26 year old.  I ran.

I didn’t run long or far.  All that is later down the road.  I ran, feeling the ghetto booty bounce and the quads tightening.  And it was the loveliest feeling in my life.   It was like being born again.

TOM is here and I hurt bad!  Hoping that Ibuprofen will have me walking tall again soon.  Yes, I hurt so bad that I don’t want to move.  :(  Oh, and for added fun, it started yesterday, on Easter.  How miserable!

Last Monday I hit 195.8.  So, of course, today I weighed 197.3.   Still, wow!  One of my biggest struggles has been to keep myself under 200.   I said I never wanted to leave Onederland again.  I’m just up 1.5 lbs.  Not bad for TOM!  Hopefully I’ll be able to weigh later this week and have something to show for myself.

Being stuck in the 190’s is fairly laughable.  Beats bouncing around in the 200’s!  I can’t wait till I’m stuck in the 180’s.  Point is, I’m getting there slowly just like I’m supposed to.

I looked up some motivation last weekend when I felt crabby [and now we know why].  I stumbled across weight-loss tips.  The staples- eating right, sleeping enough, water, etc.  Then I found one I really liked.  It said to keep your goals small.  Almost tiny.  Some of us think, “Man, I’ve got 60 lbs to lose!”  Be careful with that!  Be careful with the stress involved.  Instead, say “This week, I’m going to watch my cals and exercise.  I want to lose ONE pound.”  End of story.    Well, that’s my new idea.  No more crunching numbers like the math wiz I am.  I just want to lose one solid pound a week.  Each day I exercise, I can pat myself on the back for creating the calorie defecit that contributes to weight loss.  It’s time I feel good about me for a change!

Although I sincerely hope to be less than 196.3 next Monday, I’ll set the rule in place today.

I want to lose 1 lb this week.  

Now I better get to work! 

What a crazy day and it’s only the afternoon!

I taped myself this morning, like I do on Saturday.  I lost an inch in both my hips and thighs.  A light went on inside my head.  I knew it!  I got into those pants I love earlier this week.  But still, I’m so darn excited!  My food and exercise has been off this week.  I have motivation!

Total: 14 inches lost since January! 

Then some people from a church I don’t attend came by to help me.  4 wonderful, smiling, upbeat people, jumped on ladders, grabbed some trash bags,  used the water hose, and cleaned my gutters!  Unfortunately for me, they found that there are some potential problems with the roof, maybe water damage, and a definite issue with my chimney.  But they are committed!  A few of them are coming back next weekend to fix what they can.

The people I’m referring to are part of a local ministry that helps people when their spouses are deployed to Iraq.  God will call you to do anything!  Talking, listening, reading, cooking, manual labor, financially, singing, playing an instrument, and whatever else you can imagine!   I look around today and just felt blessed.  I wanted to cry.  Getting help today was a lesson to “let go and let God.”    I forget that because I always have to be so strong!  I got to be weak today, to be helped, to admit that I’m not Superwoman.  I did help, don’t get me wrong.

I doubt I’ll hit the gym today.  Later on, my dad-in-law is coming over to take things from my shed to the thrift store.  I’ll be hauling more stuff around.   Getting hands-on, doing the work, is my favorite exercise.  Sure, hitting the weights is good and I know it.  But I like to see a clean room, a groomed lawn, a painted wall.  I was raised to work for what I have.

Probably some Pilates tonight.  The Easter bunny won’t be coming for me, but I’m sure to have some cals shoved down my throat tomorrow!

My husband is the sweetest man!

As some of you know, my hubby is deployed to Iraq. 3 days ago marked one year. Anyway, he felt compelled to call me today b/c he was talking to some guys about weight loss. [[Ironically, I missed his first call b/c I was at the gym, LOL!]]

He was talking to a guy that exercises some like him. You know, you lift some weights, eat right, stretch, and don’t treat life like a competition. Along comes guy 3 and he’s that weight loss guru that knows about every supplement known to man and uses most of them. Conversation turned to whey protein shakes, Hydroxycut, Muscle Milk, you name it! This guy is a walking GNC inventory. Yes, that kind of guy.

Anyway, my hubby was shaking his head. No fat? Diet pills? Protein shakes? And he started to think, and later told me, about my progress. I just keep going. It’s slow. I’m not a man that can bulk up in a few weeks. He respects that and is proud of me. He knows my fears and phobias. He knows it was hard to weight train on my own. He knows it hurt and I got discouraged. He knows that my diet is a total make-over from the fast food I used to grab. He knows that there is a determination in me that can’t be matched. He loves that about me.

I had to tell him that, honestly, I’m not a hottie yet. Ha! I mean, even at 195, smallest I’ve been in years, I have body image issues. The cellulite is there. Stretch marks show the rapid weight gain from having children, 9 and 10.5 lbs at birth. I call them my battle scars. I have stretch marks on my upper arms, breasts, belly, my inner thighs, and even above and below the backs of my knees! At the same time, I am a momma. And he loves me for that. He loves his kids.

A part of me is scared to disappoint him. There is a slim chance that he’ll be home in June. I wanted to be noticeably smaller by then. At the same time, this man thinks the world of me. My negative self-image will only make problems. The only thing I need to do is paint my nails, dress nice, and treat myself like his Queen. He called to compliment my determination and drive. He can’t believe I lost 12 inches. He’s not concerned with my actual size. Only I am!

Who motivates you? Who makes you feel special no matter what?

A calendar weeks starts on Sunday. Sunday I worked out a bit on the Bowflex and did some cardio. Mon and Tues I was a babying an injury. Wed I just got lazy. So last night I put in a 50 min fat burn Pilates dvd. And today I got to the gym for 1 hr 20 minutes to weight train and cardio. If I work out tomorrow, I will feel as though I salvaged the week.

My eating sucked this week! Being home all day long, being out of routine with the kids here, and not exercising led me to eat badly. I just didn’t feel in the loop. I’m mad at myself. I told myself to use Spring Break as practice for summer. I blew it. Sorta…

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my mistakes now are nothing like they used to be. There are Cheetos and cookies in my house that I haven’t touched. A bad eating day would be a binge. These days it’s skipping veggies at dinner. And the ultimate sin in my book- too many carbs.

As I sit here, covered in sweat, and making sure I get enough water in me to make up for I sweated out, I feel good. [[I sweat really heavy and I’ve been told to drink before I shower and cool off to make up for what I lost.]] I need to work out! It takes the yucky feeling out of my day. I hate eating and not working out. Oh wow, I said it. Ha ha! Who am I!?!

Oh, and an update, my niece is out of the hospital! Thanks for the prayers!