moonwalker

Ugh. I feel like crap!

First off, I have this sinus infection that is making me feel like I have fluid in my ears [so maybe I do?]. It makes me feel off balanced. I took some meds and now I can at least breathe! I just have trouble hearing. It’s really difficult to concentrate.

Secondly, I went on a drinking marathon this weekend. OH MY GOSH! Friday night it was beer, beer, beer and a couple shots of Everglo. Last night it was bourbon, vodka, beer, more vodka, on and on and on! I have never been so giggly and happy in my life. I even tried dancing! So count that as my exercise for the weekend b/c that’s all there is since Thursday!

The third thing is food. I’m sick. Not really hungry. I haven’t had a balanced meal since Friday lunch time. Usually drinking makes me eat something greasy, like Waffle House. Not this time. I’m lucky to get food in me. Example- my dinner tonight was a Fiber One bar. It’s the only thing around me that looked edible!

The last thing is the kicker. I’m confused. So confused. My brother runs track and he came by to give me tips and show me stretches. He says not to run longer than 10 minutes on weight training days. So, what’s more important- the weights or running? Furthermore, I’m not even a good runner yet. So can I practice running and do weights on the same day? He doesn’t think so. Oh, what to do?

Running is the best thing to happen to me in a long while. It’s the best natural high for me. I feel like I’m accomplished, strong, and sexy. I feel like I beat the odds and stood up for myself. [Which is actually true.] It’s addicting. I am going to give up cigarettes for running. I’d rather run and feel amazing than smoke a cigarette, enjoy it, and need another one in 30 minutes or so.

My brother also said that to lose weight, 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week is enough. Hmmm? I told my father-in-law who bluntly told me, “That’s loaded because men lose weight easier than women.” Point. I just feel pressured. I want to run. I want to weight train. I want to excel at both, in time. My trainer wants me on the weights 4 times a week. I need to practice running about 3 times a week. [It’s a sliding scale for beginners. Walk 5 minutes, run 5 minutes, etc. Which I can’t even run 5 whole minutes yet!] That’s 7 days a week. I don’t have the help I need on the weekends to get out and do all that. So, what do I do?

It used to be that I would avoid exercise. Now I’m trying to max it out without killing myself. Ha ha ha! My mom accuses me of always making things seem worse than they are. No, mom, I just don’t want a sports injury. I’m a heavy girl. On the other hand, I’m a strong girl. I need someone to talk to outside of the gym trainer and my brother. I’d like some answers that aren’t biased.

*sighs*

That’s where I’m at. I feel nervous about the weigh-in tomorrow. I feel stupid about some of the things I did last night. And I’m behind on housework. Maybe I should run tomorrow. That always ups my energy and I can get more done!