moonwalker

I did Pilates again today. This time I used an all-over dvd designed to use with a resistance band. I liked it. Of course, it really showed me what I worked out yesterday on the buns and thighs dvds. Ow! Ha ha! My friend and I talked tonight about that good burn, the good pain. I’m trying to get her to try Pilates, since a gym membership is out the question.

Trouble is that, yet again, I ended up ravenously hungry. I did good until dinner. Then I splurged on a foot long sub and a bag of baked chips. Problem is, I still feel hungry! The only thing keeping me behaved is that tomorrow is my free day. Tomorrow I can try this ice cream I’ve been eying.

Of course, today has been emotional for me. My in-laws watched the kids last night and today. My mom-in-law called earlier today to tell me my daughter has a fever… again! I was concerned, but it’s controllable with meds. My kids almost never get sick. Anyway, I got her back tonight and I don’t see any of these things my mom-in-law told me. She ate dinner, talked a lot, was very animated, told me she felt fine, has no breathing problems, etc.

All in all, the day is done. Yeah! I can’t wait to go to bed tonight. Seriously!

w.o.w.

I plugged in the Winsor Pilates bun and thigh video and I’m impressed! I’ve been in and out of gyms for the past 3 years, so I know I’m not totally out of shape, but I was very surprised to see that I could do almost all of it! I did do all of it actually. But there’s this one part where you bring you foot towards your belly and hold your ankle down. I can’t do that on my right side. So I held it up and kept going. I still felt the burn where I needed to.

When I got up from the mat [which in my case is a rolled-up comforter… ha ha!], I felt that good energy burn/buzz. I knew I had done a good job! I’m going to keep on it 3 times a week like the video suggests. I want my thighs to not look lumpy!

I followed that work out (20 mins or less, not sure) with 10 minutes free step on the Wii (930 something steps!) and 5 minutes advanced step/dance. I have heard to combine aerobics with Pilates and I didn’t feel like driving to the gym for 15 minutes on the elliptical skier. Seems kinda weird.

I do suggest Pilates. I will add that Winsor does seem easier than the dvds I bought at Wal-Mart.

As for yesterday, my eating went well. I fought the urge to go out and made dinner. I’m following my own plan. I think it’s going well. According to the Wii, I lost 5 lbs in 3 days! Water weight I’m sure. Still, a loss is a loss and something to be proud of!

I noticed this afternoon that my thighs look funny.  They’re all lumpy looking.  3 weeks ago I was so excited that the more noticeable cellulite was fading.  Now I look worse!

I freaked out, then thought about it.  My dad lost some major weight after finding out he was diabetic.  He refuses to go on meds.  So I called my mom.  She confirmed that, yes, I’m losing fat in my legs.  I’m lumpy b/c you lose some fat and the rest hangs out for a while.  There’s different kinds or something.  I have creepy lumpy thighs!  Progress!

Ha ha ha! 

I googled firming up your thighs, and got some advice.  There are two I’ll do.  One is walking on an incline.  The other is getting on an elliptical bike, biking fast for 8 seconds, slow for 12, and continue on for 20 minutes.  I’m going to do that at least once a week.  It just sucks trying to time all that!  Seconds!?  At least the work out will go by quick trying to get in the groove.

On an interesting note, my mom-in-law ordered this Pilates set from Winsor Pilates.  Although I don’t know why, she never used it and gave everything to me, new and unused!  Tomorrow I’ll start Pilates.  I read reviews on the product and on Pilates in general and I like what I’ve read.  Some people lost weight, but nearly everyone lost inches.  Woo hoo!  Sign me up!

Last night I sat down with 2 diet plans (diabetic and weight training-ish, both similar), pen and paper (hot pink pen, of course!), and made a diet plan and goal list for myself.

I’ve learned that my biggest problem is not wanting to eat fresh fruit and veggies, and that I’m totally hooked on carbs, like bread. Bread, for some reason, has always been a comfort food. But for people like me with pre- (and those with actual) diabetes, carbs come in so many forms that you really, really have to watch it.

Working out is another odd thing to ponder on. My doc said 6 times a week, 30 minutes a day. When you work with a trainer, it’s an hour. I usually do 45 minutes on the elliptical skier. I don’t mind working out. The problem is, the longer I work out, the hungrier I get! And I crave starchy carbs!

Question: Do I cut down the work outs so I don’t stuff my face?

Anyone that has any experience in that dept, please feel free to let me know!

I’m still feeling pretty upbeat. Part of it is because my hubby called yesterday. Another is that I finally did something resembling a work out today! I spent 32 minutes on the Wii Fit today. Of course, Wii time isn’t real time, but whatever. I got moving! I ran out of time for my morning work out, so I finished up in the afternoon. I almost never do that.

My eating today was o.k. I won’t beat myself up over anything. Calorie wise, I’m sure I did fine. Ideal food wise, not so much. I need to make a diet for myself. Something that I approve of and can stick to. How do you do that? So much to learn!

I finally set up a goal for myself. My weight flew up and has been bouncing around since the hubby was here. I actually don’t know what I weigh right now. But I decided that once I hit 200 again, I’ll get some new shoes. Nothing exciting. Just a good pair to work out in. I usually surf the clearance rack for shoes. This time I’ll get something good.

The next step is deciding a reward for 195. How do y’all reward yourselves?

Wow, my hubby went back to Iraq 2 weeks ago!

It’s been really hard to adjust to the disappointment of him leaving. He’s such a wonderful man. He changed SO much. He got his temper under control. He has genuine patience now. I could learn a thing or two from him!

Yesterday I didn’t exercise b/c I’m bogged down in house work. I should’ve at least turned on the Wii Fit and done something! Every time I do laundry, I end up with a killer back ache. My back got messed up during my first pregnancy. One doc thinks I have a muscle spasm in my lower back. Whatever it is, you can feel it. Plus I have a hip problem. So bending, turning, and twisting to do the laundry really hurts. The hubby is talking about getting a stacked washer and drier. That way, I don’t have to twist to get the clothes from the washer to the drier. The set-up in the laundry room is weird. My washer and drier aren’t side by side.

And I vacuumed, washed dishes (no dishwasher), put up all the clothes, and picked up tons of toys off the floor. Maybe I worked my abs! Ha ha! I know I got lots of stretching in. I still have laundry to do today. My poor back. As I learned last night, 2 Tylenol and a Mich Ultra took the pain away enough to go to sleep.

My daughter is doing so much better too! I can rest easy seeing her eating and playing again. I was worried because, as of Monday, she still was laying around a lot. I thought maybe her antibiotics weren’t really helping. I was about to call the doctor.

Right now, I feel happy. I hope to get on the ball today and work out some. Sometimes I’m lacking motivation. I’m just so used to being big. It’s so easy to retreat into a mind frame and hide behind it. I have to FIGHT IT!!!

I can’t wait to wear a 14 again!

I did it! I did it! I did it!

I went to the gym this morning! Yes, I’m that happy. It’s so good to be over TOM and out of a slump. I worked out on the skier for 45 minutes. I didn’t get a chance to talk to the trainer, but I need to get back to my weekly sessions.

I’m trying to set up a schedule. I need to incorporate new things, like abs and strength training. I’m going to the beach the second week in June. I want to tone up and not be so self-conscious in a bathing suit. The skier is great and I understand it, but I need more.

I’m getting a headache, so it’s hard to really explain myself.

I’ll be back!

Things don’t always turn out the way we plan.

Yesterday was a bad food day b/c I was stupid.  I bought some of my fav candy on sale.  I KNOW better!  Sure, put it in the freezer and have an occasional splurge.  *slaps self on forehead*

Today was a bad food day by default.  I had to take my daughter to the ER.  We ended up being there from 1 to 5.  Ugh.  So we HAD to have fast food b/c we skipped lunch.  I was just so worried about my little girl!  Next time I’ll get a real lunch before we head out.  Then again, I’ll probably feel like a jerk making my kid wait for medical attention.  It’s hard to know what’s right.

I guess I’ll just say what’s up.  My kid has a bladder infection (and I suspect a stomach virus- she threw up a lot tonight).  I didn’t know kids got those!  I’ve only ever had one, and I was pregnant with her at the time.

I have been on the run all day.  I was worried sick about my baby.  Then the long wait at the ER and another at the pharmacy.  Now my son has a cough, which sounds bad.  Why didn’t he get it earlier?  We spent all afternoon at the ER.

I feel bloated and crappy.  I met my brother’s girlfriend tonight.  We had the same jeans, and, let me tell you, she looks WAY better in hers!  Skinny little thing.  I may be a 17, but I’m still somehow in the juniors dept.  Way to keep up with the skinny little 16 year old.  Ha ha ha! 

I have to do something quick.  I’m not motivated in the right direction.  I’ve been spending my time shopping and going out to eat.  I’m spoiling myself because I feel miserable without my husband, and he’s making some bank.  All this money.  It’s like I’m getting paid to sit down and be quiet.  Don’t complain about the war.  Take the money.  Be happy.  When they say that money can’t buy happiness, they were right!  I probably shouldn’t complain.  A lot of people are miserable and broke right now.  Goodness knows I’ve been getting some good deals at store closing sales.  And I feel like a jerk about it.  Momentary happiness.  Fleeting triumph.

I need exercise.  I need endorphins.  MONDAY.  I will go to the gym Monday.  I wish I had a work out buddy!

This doesn’t have the first thing to do with American Idol, which I don’t watch anyway.

This morning I got into my tight jeans- straight outta the dryer woo hoo!- and felt really darn good about myself. Then I logged onto the Wii Fit to get weighed and my weight went up!? O.k. So there’s less of me in a more physical sense….

I know! Gravity is being a little pushy today.

When does it get to the point where the muscle stops making you gain weight? My doc would jump my case about these scale numbers. I’ve been working out for a month and this weight goes all over the place, fluctuating sometimes by 4 lbs a day!

Oh, I know all about TOM, and salt, and water retention, and big meals, etc. I’ve been trying to lose weight since 6th grade! I cheat. I do something right. I work out aggressively. I slack off. Routines are so hard to come by. Every trainer and friend and family member has a different idea. And this “do what’s right for you and stick to it” mentality doesn’t help. Seriously! If it did, I wouldn’t be this big!

And there comes a point where I just get comfy being a chub. This is me! My daughter knows I’m dieting and said to my son, “I like mom the way she looks now. If she loses weight, we have to get to know her all over again.” Wow! Kids are awesome.

I want to do something. I really do. I have about 4 and a half months to make some changes before the hubby comes home. I want to drop 20 lbs! I want him to see me, reinvented. I’ve already changed so much emotionally and spiritually. Physically is next.

I don’t know the point of this. Just a rant, I guess.

I need motivation! I need support! I need a smack on the head to keep going! Help!

Things went well yesterday, except I didn’t exactly exercise. I just spent a lot of time on long-forgotten housework. And I got a lot done!

To make up for it, I went to the gym right after breakfast. I did 30 minutes on the skier. Then I came home and did 8 minutes of step/dance. And a few reps of bicep curls on these resistance bands I bought. Not a fan. But, hey, if it helps, it’s gold.

I kinda lost my mind and went to Firehouse subs for lunch. It’s so tempting to go eat somewhere when you’re out and about. Normally I don’t because I’m a penny pincher. I didn’t think about the diet or the work outs or anything except that I was hungry RIGHT THEN. And that’s a big reason as to how I managed to get this big in the first place. Of course, I’d never bothered working out until I was 22 years old and so overweight I could barely walk, but still…..

It’s time to get my hands on simple, super-healthy, less than 5 ingredient, and yummy recipe book or something. I dread cooking. I can make, like, 5 healthy meals. Grrr… It’s no wonder I’m always running to restaurants! Or boxed and bagged dinners. Or dinner for breakfast. Or horrible frozen meals.

And, yes, I’m still taking that Lipo 6 junk. And, no, no problems yesterday. And no problems today either.